Has your heart ever skipped a beat upon receiving a text from your parents ending with
those dreaded three little dots? Mine certainly has – more times than I can count. Whether it’s a curt “We need to talk…” or the ominous “It’s time to get home…,” an ellipsis always carries an undertone of passive-aggressive unease.

Yet, more often than not, it turns out to be harmless. Funny how these seemingly innocent little dots can wield so much power. But why do they feel so unsettling to me and my Gen Z peers, while the adults around us see them completely differently?

A history of hesitation

The ellipsis has been around for centuries. Traditionally used in literature, it indicated an omission of words or a trailing off of thought. However, in formal writing, an ellipsis creates a sense of pause, incompleteness or uncertainty. That’s why for many adults, this original function still resonates. To them, the ellipses mean ‘to be continued’ or suggest that they are ‘softly trailing off into thought’.

For millennials, Gen X and generally all the adults in our lives, the ellipsis is a stylistic tool that existed long before texting or emails. In letters and other formal correspondence, an ellipsis conveys hesitation, politeness or contemplation.

So a phrase like, “I was wondering if you could help…” would come across as thoughtful, rather than blunt. On social media platforms, this punctuation has even been renamed “boomer ellipses”, a term used to joke about the older generations’ use of the three dots.

When SMS text messaging emerged, with its original 160-character limit, abbreviations like ‘BRB’ (be right back) or ‘LMK’ (let me know) became common, and ellipses gained even more utility. They saved space while adding nuance to brief messages. Instead of an abrupt stop to texts, phrases like “I’ll call you later…” softened the tone, leaving the message open-ended and considerate.

@etymologynerd this is so interesting… i prefer line breaks though #linguistics #language #communication #technology #texting ♬ original sound – Etymology Nerd on Substack

Gen Z vs ellipses

Gen Z grew up in an era of unlimited texts, instant and direct messaging, and emojis, and that’s why we feel these punctuations are out of date. For us, digital communication now prizes clarity, efficiency and emotional transparency. In this context, those ambiguous three dots feel out of space. They are no longer gentle or neutral; instead, they are ominous, often hinting at discomfort, disapproval or passive aggression – like something important remains unsaid.

The ellipses have taken on a completely different tone for Gen Z. In our digital world, where tone and intent are critical, these three dots create a tension that’s hard to ignore. They seem to clash with the straightforward tone we value, and we end up reading between the lines (sometimes obsessively) for hidden meanings.

This different form of punctuation reflects a broader communication gap between Gen Z and other generations. What feels like a considerate pause to them often feels like a subtle critique or veiled warning to us.

It’s a perfect example of how tone and intent can get lost in translation across digital platforms. We might read a “Where are you…” as our parents finding out we’re somewhere we’re not supposed to be, whereas they really just want to know where we were.

Bridging the gap

Does this mean that these three dots are doomed to misinterpretation forever? Not necessarily. Think about it this way; if you are annoyed by the way the adults in your life text, imagine how confused and annoyed they are. This is a completely new medium of communication for parents and grandparents with so many new ‘rules’ and nuances, that simply goes against everything they previously learnt about writing.

But there is a simple solution to fixing this. For one, you could make your own ‘texting rules’ with those in your life by having a conversation and trying to find a way that works for both parties. Where you might be stressed out about three dots, your parents probably don’t understand what you meant by your grammatically incorrect, four-separate line texts filled with abbreviations and spelling errors either.

Your parents may perceive your brevity as being blunt or rude and adding a small heart, or GIFs (parents love them), could make the message seem more kind and respectful.

This might not be a one-size-fits-all solution for all but it’s important to try to foster empathy and at least try to improve communication. This way, texting could turn into something less stressful that perhaps improves the relationships with those in your life.

Bridging this gap is not impossible – it just takes effort and patience.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed the read…