19-year-old Flora Lodd shares how learning to be an extrovert changed her view on self-worth
Growing up, I never imagined that talking to strangers could bring me joy. From kindergarten onward, I was teased for being shy and introverted. Teachers constantly urged me to speak up, but I lacked the confidence to do so.
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung introduced the concept of introverts and extroverts in the early 20th century, seeing them as two personality types at different ends of the same scale. Most people exhibit traits of both, but tend to lean more heavily in one direction or the other.
Introverts are individuals who recharge by spending time alone. While they are often seen as withdrawn or shy, this isn’t always the case. For me, being introverted meant finding comfort in solitude, even as I wanted to connect with others.
The period starting in 2019 was especially tough for me. Puberty, changing schools, friendship issues, struggles with self-worth, and declining mental health all hit me at once, pushing me into isolation. I felt trapped in my own head, unable to talk to anyone about my feelings, so I had no choice but to face everything alone.
During this time, I discovered how closely my feelings are aligned with the studiesthat have shown that low extroversion has a stronger connection to depression than anxiety and it can also play a role in social anxiety.
That period of isolation, though painful, forced me to start finding myself. I felt I had to figure out how to navigate my struggles on my own. However, 15 is not the age anyone should be dealing with such deep-rooted problems, as my mom eventually realised after a couple of months.
With her and my two sisters as my support system – a blessing I’ll always be grateful for – we sought therapeutic help. Slowly, I began to stand on my own two feet again.
Flora (left) and her best friend, Zoe.
The next three years were challenging in their own way, although the pandemic was surprisingly helpful. It brought me closer to my family and allowed me to focus on myself instead of school. I left behind toxic friendships and spent a lot of time feeling weird and unsure of who I was or who I wanted to become.
Then came 2022, and with it, a transformative chapter in my life. I changed schools, which made me realise I didn’t have to live for anyone else or have to be liked by anyone unless it was for the person I am. Meeting new people and seeing life from fresh perspectives sparked something in me. It reignited a light that had been dimmed for far too long, and I found myself gaining interest in life again.
By that time, I had met my two best friends, who are now an essential part of my life. I can’t imagine being without them. They know everything about me and truly understand me, embodying what unconditional friendship looks like.
The experiences we’ve shared – vacations, deep conversations, and countless sleepovers – have played a huge role in shaping who I am today. With their support, I’ve started becoming the person I want to be, even if there’s still room for improvement.
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Flora taught windsurfing at the Baltic sea.
Taking a solo vacation at 17 to Lanzarote in the Canary Islands expanded my love for travelling and my curiosity about the world. I was on my own for two weeks and had to interact with complete strangers, who showed me the good in people and amazed me with their experiences.
Meeting new people through school and having various jobs, from teaching windsurfing on the Baltic Sea to delivering food in Berlin, taught me that variety was something my life had been missing. Being constantly confronted with communication and meeting many strangers has been preparing me for adulthood.
I began to enjoy listening to others, opening myself up to new ideas, and expressing my own thoughts – I kind of figured out what it means to be an extrovert. Building my opinions, developing a personal style, and exploring my potential became exciting challenges instead of overwhelming ones.
Researchshows that extroversion can increase happiness and that introverts can learn extroverted skills.
“Even though our core temperaments don’t change much, introverts can develop chameleon-like abilities to act more extroverted in certain situations. Through practice and self-development, introverts can become more outgoing and comfortable in extroverted roles.”
Looking back, I feel incredibly lucky. I had people who cared about me, noticed when I was struggling and helped guide me in the right direction when I couldn’t do it on my own. That said, not everything has turned around. I still value time to myself and I don’t always feel the urge to be around people.
Through these experiences, I’ve learned that growth often comes from discomfort. While I’ll always appreciate my introverted roots, I now embrace opportunities to connect with others, knowing that the most meaningful moments often happen when we step out of our comfort zones.
At times, that might feel impossible and will hold you back in important areas of your life like work, school, or relationships. In that case, I encourage you to build a support system – whether that’s family, friends, or a therapist – to help you navigate the challenges and move forward.
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