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harbinger | noun
har·bin·ger | \ˈhär-bən-jər\
1. one that initiates a major change: a person or thing that originates or helps open up a new activity, method, or technology; pioneer.
2. something that foreshadows a future event : something that gives an anticipatory sign of what is to come.
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Figure skating is my life and biggest passion. But I almost quit because of the pressures I had to deal with as a young athlete.
Balancing training, competitions and academic pressures was a struggle, along with the stress and toxic environment of competing against other young athletes and hearing first-hand about eating disorders within the sport.
At the age of eight, when I watched the movie Ice Princess at Christmas time for the first time, I immediately fell in love with figure skating and thought it was magical. It was this film that began my journey into the sport and I have now been doing it for seven years.
Figure skating has brought me a great deal of joy, it has taught me how to never give up and to strive towards my goals.
I have won medals in Polish national competitions and am very grateful for the opportunity to become a professional athlete.
Nothing compares to the happiness I experience when skating. When I’m on the ice, I forget about everything, my mind is clear and I feel free.
But this has not come without its challenges and I have faced a lot of them.
The main struggle I faced was trying to balance training 16 times a week with my intense school schedule – with two sessions in the morning before school and one after.
I found it difficult to study and be a professional athlete at the same time. Some teachers did not understand the stress of dealing with school work at the same time and trying to retain the energy for long training sessions.
Due to this complicated schedule, an agreement was reached at school which allowed me to go to training sessions in place of some morning lessons and for these hours lost to be replaced with extra private tutoring at home to keep up with the material.
This resulted in me being tired all the time and I was unable to see friends outside of school. I remember how jealous I was of other teenagers because they had a better social life than I did. My friends would always ask me if I could go out with them and I would be so upset replying to them “sorry I can’t, I have my training”.
Competitions were also very stressful and I was taking part in them every two to three weeks. I became nervous before my performance or even a few days before competitions. It was very difficult because I didn’t know how to deal with the stress and I did not like the toxic environment of competing with opponents.
I was 12 when I first questioned whether I wanted to continue figure skating and if it was really worth it. It led to a lack of motivation, and my performances in training and competitions dropped and as a result I only wanted to quit more. Personally, I managed to cope by seeking support with a sports psychologist and I have now learnt to manage high levels of stress during competitions.
I have since managed to pick myself up and have fallen back in love with figure skating all over again. Now I can’t imagine my life without it.
There are, however, wider issues that impact the sport including negative body image and eating disorders, with some figure skaters struggling as there are common perceptions within the sport that the thinner you are the better.
Phrases such as “fat doesn’t fly”, and calling athletes “too heavy” are just some things that are told to figure skaters.
IFSC weighs in on athlete eating disorder concerns following criticism
Eating disorders are very common in figure skating, and according to statistics published on Eating Disorder Hope ‘most athletes with eating disorders are female’, with up to 62% of female athletes in weight-class and aesthetic sports and about 33% of male athletes affected by eating disorders.
It is vital for professional athletes to have healthy and nutritious meals because of how much work athletes put in on the ice.
Despite all this, nothing still compares to the sport. Others also agree, many people I have come across share similar feelings about the highs and lows of figure skating. But they still wouldn’t give it up for the world.
Picture by: fot.SzymonBrodziak.com
To me, the sport is still worth it. If you are also a young athlete and you are going through a difficult time right now and wondering if you should quit, I think you shouldn’t because there are some worse moments in sport, but it always gets better.
Nothing beats the feeling of pride after performing well in a competition. Figure skating will always be my biggest passion and despite all the difficulties that I have faced during my journey, I will be forever grateful that I got the opportunity to become an athlete.
Born in 2009 in Warsaw, Poland, Helena Ruszkowska studies in Warsaw. She is interested in biology and chemistry and she plans to study Medicine. For Harbingers’ Magazine, she will write about culture, society and sports.
In her free time, Helena trains figure skating for which she has won several national championships.
Helena speaks Polish and English, and is currently learning German.
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